Next years dinner is fri 24th June 2011
thanks to Kevin Thornton and Andy Dawson for their entertaining and funny speeches. Here are some of the RRUFC front row
world records
Most stupid thing ever said by a human.
On Saturday 15th January 1999, before a game of rugby, prop forward Jimmy Riddle, Rochdale , England , made the comment ‘games are won and lost in the last 80 minutes’. He broke his own previous record of which he said, ‘ remember last weeks game…. And forget it’.
Most swear words in a minute.
On Saturday 18th September 1998, during a rugby dressing room team talk, hooker Paul Bradley of Rochdale, England, said the word F**K 126 times in a period of 60 seconds. This Breaks Snoop Doggy-Dog’s record of 95 from the seminal album ‘ Da DoggFather’.
Most Boring
During a conversation held on Saturday 8th March 2000, Paul Finnigan of Rochdale, England, started a conversation about front row play. Within 3 minutes 21 people had fallen asleep, and 3 had died from severe boredom syndrome, (S.B.S).
Most Gullible
On Tuesday 2nd August 1997, Paul Swinden of Rochdale, England, while on rugby tour in Magaluf was conned into downing 22 pints of standard strength lager by a continual ringing of a bell simulating last orders, before vomiting over himself and other holiday goers.
Most incessant playing of bugle
On Saturday 21st April 1991, Geoff Crabtree of Rochdale, England incessantly played a toy bugle on an inter-city train from Edinburgh to London for a record 14 hours and 14 minutes, smashing the previous record of 3 hours and 39 minutes set by 4yr old Jimmy Cartright of Brighton, England
Most even sun-tan
On Thursday March 14th 2007, Adrian Redman of Rochdale England record a tan evenness of 4.95 on the tan-evenness scale. Experts say it would have been higher if he hadn't ♠♠missed a patch of skin at the back of his left knee.
Most Yellow Cards in a season
During the 2002 - 2003 season, local Heywood thug Tommy Owens received 97 yellow cards for stamping, punching and head butting. This averages at 3.7 yellow cards per game. He still protests his innocence.
Worst Punch Thrown
On Wednesday 1st August 1995, prop Neil Sunderland of Rochdale, England threw a punch that missed its target by 16.3m during a game against VillaJoyosa, Benidorm, Spain. Scientists estimate that the punch will land approximately June 2020.
Most Alcohol Consumed
During a chartered flight from New York to Manchester on Friday 9th June 2002, Hughie Deasey drank 121 double shots of whiskey with soda from a siphon out-drinking 2 American Gentlemen by 120 drinks. Hughie remained sober, while his American counterparts collapsed and Urinated themselves.
Mistaken for a politician
Until going to press, Rob Ward, from Littleborough, England has been mistaken for the Mayor of London and dimwit politician Boris Johnson 65,322 times. Rob has since appeared on ‘Have I got news for you’, and has been barred from Liverpool.
Most ridiculous moment involving vodka
On Saturday April 28th 1998, Peter Sunderland of Rochdale, England, whilst making a presidential speech, was so drunk off vodka, he couldn't hold the microphone to his mouth. As members of the audience hand gestured him to lift the microphone to his mouth, he thought they were offering him a drink, and ordered vodka.
Least amount of time on a rugby field
On June 5th 2000, during a game of rugby against Tourcoing RFC, in their 40th anniversary match, prop Ian Donoghue of Rochdale, England was brought on as a substitute after 79 minutes and 59 seconds into the game. As he ran on the field, the final whistle blew. He played for a record 1 second in which he still managed to rip his shorts bending over to tie his laces. Ian also breaks 2 other records on the same day for being the most angry after a rugby match, and also the longest sulk recorded by an adult human male.
Fat B******
In a survey carried out by a show of hands on 13th April 2004 in Tourcoing, France , 2,895, 321 people agreed that Neil Donoghue is a fat b******. Neil Donoghue of Rochdale, England carried out the survey himself.
Held Captive
Neil Sunderland, of Malvern St West, Rochdale was held captive for 91 days in Barcelona Zoo, Spain, after being wrongly mistaken for Snowflake, the zoo’s male adult albino Silverback Gorilla. Sunderland didn’t raise the alarm until 90 days into the ordeal as he was fed at regular intervals. Airport security have been heavily criticised after Snowflake managed to fly to England unchallenged with Sunderland’s passport. In the 91 days of captivity, Mr. Sunderland’s family didn’t suspect a thing.
Wiggling
On Saturday 10th January 2010, Will Birtwell, of Bury, UK became the first person in history to receive a yellow card for allegedly ‘wiggling’. During his ‘wiggle’, Will thrust his hips forwards and backwards at a rate of 243 WPM (wiggles per minute). It turns out that Will’s girlfriend is a very happy person!
Excuses, Excuses
Thomas Callaghan of Middleton, Manchester came up with the most unconvincing excuse to miss training on Tuesday 12th December 2009. He claimed to have tickets to see Manchester United, despite them playing away in Turkey. The following Tuesday he claimed to have been ‘abducted by aliens’. The week later, ‘gout’. What next Thomas? A round the world trip?
Most unconvincing female
On 10th october2009, Richard Bradley of Heywood, Lancashire dressed up as a woman for the annual RRUFC stars in their eyes competition. He was so unconvincing that he looked more like a man than he did before attempting the record. The two other females accompanying him were very pretty however. This still didn’t stop Prop Jimmy Riddle from ‘having a crack’ at copping off with her / him.
Punched by Referee
Geoff Crabtree, from Norden, Rochdale, still remains to be the only person to be punched by an official during a game of rugby. Crabtree, who claims he didn’t do anything to provoke the incident was struck by referee, Alan De Walter, 63 minutes into the game in Tourcoing, France April 1st 1995, after a scrum collapsed, and Geoff stamped incessantly on the referee’s son’s legs.
Faffing
Hughie Deasey of Shawclough, Rochdale, UK, holds the world record for the number of free tours arranged around the rugby club to opposition supporters. On 18th November 2007, opposition supporters from West Hartlepool complained that they had missed the entire game, after Mr Deasey had locked them into the store room next to the 1st team changing room.
Most sunburnt.
Paul Swinden, of Passmonds, Rochdale, UK, became the most sunburnt male Human on August 9th 2003 whilst holidaying in Lloret-de-mar, Spain. Despite his pale complexion, Paul applied cooking oil to his skin, then fell asleep at 11.32 am, and woke up again at 6.55pm. Paul was so sunburnt that passers by thought he was Spiderman.